Money hai to honey hai

ClickInc

Dec 28, 2010

Selecting a software bridegroom...


This is from wikileaks……
A conversation about the process of selecting a software bridegroom....
Enjoy reading....



Priya: hey! what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?

Jyoti : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come.. in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don't know which one to select, I am confused because of it.

Priya: what is the confusion about?

Jyoti: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. That's why I don't know whom I must select among this. You are a software engineer na pls give me some suggestion .

Priya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.

Jyoti: first is a manager .

Priya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can't make it, he'll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare it. He will also tell he'll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not accept.

Jyoti: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a test engineer.

Priya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it. If you ask him "will you not at least tell that it is good", he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is sooo good ...

Jyoti: then a NO to him also. Next is the performance test engineer.

Priya: he is another specimen. even if everything is good, he will ask why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which
can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!


Jyoti: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Priya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are called the developers group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.

Jyoti: then tell about them.

Priya: you don't have to do anything. They will do everything themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them is- they will say "I know it" whatever you ask them. Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the condition is you must keep saying "you are too good" after hitting them every time.

Jyoti: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom...

Dec 9, 2010

Do not make simple things complicated

Does Love Need a Reason?

Some people never understand



Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:
 Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?


Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..


Lady : You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?


Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.


Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!


Man : Ok.. ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,


because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.


The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side, here is the content:


Darling, Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.


Because of your care and concern that I like you.. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love.


Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..


Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...


If love needs a reason, like now, There is no reason for me to love you anymore.


Does love need a reason?


NO! Therefore,


I still LOVE YOU...


"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away"


Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'


'Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays...'

Is Work a Virus?

If you receive any sort of 'work' at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open it or even look at it have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter 'work' via email, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words 'I've had enough of your sh*t ... I'm off down the pub'. The 'work' should automatically be forgotten by your brain and your career will now be successfully destroyed.

If you receive 'work' in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag to your waste paper bin and deposit there. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer.

After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that 'work' will no longer be of any relavance to you and that 'Scooby Doo' was the greatest children's cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your mailbox. If you do not have anyone in your mailbox, then I'm afraid the 'work' virus has corrupted your life.

Go out and get some friends.



Dec 7, 2010

Wrong number

WRONG NUMBER


It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no."Ma", he screamed in excitement, "I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects." I can't believe it. "I kind of became numb in my excitement... My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled." Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.

I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend" to tell him the news......

I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years. I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me When I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....

After that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names.

Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.

From then he used to call me very often. We almost discussed everything.

By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma
whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ........all these questions ran through my mind.

I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there.

I never called .......

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend.......

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and
never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy...Yet, I was not very happy with my married life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him.

He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.
From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble... And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.

Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot"

I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him.... I felt I had been a badWr wife........

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married.

I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did.
I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find,
"Wrong no Sweety - 26579785" !!!!!

God always puts the right numbers together. It's us who interpret it wrong!!!!!

Dec 3, 2010

આધુનિક્તાની વ્યાખ્યા સમ મોમ-ડેડ

આધુનિક્તાની વ્યાખ્યા સમ મોમ-ડેડ,


મોમ રમે મોબાઇલે sms, ડેડ computer એ કરે business.

દોસ્તો સાથે શોપિંગ તણાં ગપાટાં અને શેરમાર્કેટની ઉતર - ચડની ચિંતા,

ઘરમાં એક માસુમ કુમળું ફુલ પણ શ્વસતું ને પાંગરતું ,

મોમ - ડેડનાં આધુનિકતા સમ આંચળ હેઠે કચડાતું,

મોમ સખીઓનાં problems સુલઝાવવામાં busy,

ડેડ businesનાં વિસ્તરણમાં અટવાય,

માસુમ ફુલ 'maths'નાં એક સમિકરણે અટવાય,

મોમ-ડેડ.. can u please help me?

અમે અત્યારે થોડાં કામમાં છીએ ,

તને કેટલું સમજાવ્યું છે don't disturb us,

અત્યારે ટાઈમ નથી અમારી પાસે,

દિલે ખારો ઉષ સમંદર ભરીને-

ઘરની કાયમી સાથ આપતી દિવાલે અઢેલીને,

માસુમ દિલ પ્રભુને એક તીખી વેધક નજરે વીંધે..

કાશ્ મોમ-ડેડ બનવાની પણ એક school...

LET'S TRAVEL TO PARIS

LET'S TRAVEL TO PARIS

DINESH VORA

CLICK OR COPY AND PASTE


YOU WILL VIEW PARIS IN A VERY SHARP

26 GIGA PIXEL PICTURE FIRST OF ITS KIND

PLAY WITH YOUR MOUSE CURSER AND

ENJOY PARIS ALL AROUND NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH UP DOWN CLOSE LOOK

ANYWAY YOU LIKE

Dec 1, 2010

IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO.....

An old man lived alone in Minnesota . He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:


Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

With Love,
Dad



Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m .. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad...

It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT.

Life of a S/W Engineer


Life of a S/W Engineer JJ

It's true they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.


I don't think there is a better way of explaining our life. Imagine yourself sitting in the black chair.
 






Nov 18, 2010

Taiwan to China

Try this,
1. Go to Google Maps.
2. Go to "Get Directions".
3. Type Taiwan as start location.
4. Type China as the end location....
5. Read STEP24 of the directions.

Nov 14, 2010

Single Ticket

Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. How are you going to travel on a single ticket?. asked a lawyer. Wait and watch,. answered one of the engineers.

When they boarded the train, the lawyers took their seats, but the three engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. He knocked on the toilet door and asked, .Ticket please.. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The ticket collector took it and moved on. Seeing this, the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip.

So when they got to the station, they bought only one ticket. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy any. .How are you going to travel without a ticket?. asked one of the perplexed lawyers.Wait and watch,. answered an engineer.

In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding.

He knocked on the door and said, .Ticket, please......

Laughter the best medicine?

A man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly emerged from behind, sirens blaring. Thinking he.d outpace the cop, the man pushed his accelerator to the floor. His car's speed rose to sixty, then seventy, eighty, and ninety. Finally, the man thought, what the heck, and pulled over, ready to receive a speeding ticket.

The police officer got out, leaned over the man and said: .Listen, Mister, I have had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go..

The man thought for a moment and said: .Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me..

No ticket.

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS !!!!

Question and the Answer given by IAS Candidates,
Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in India . Candidates are graduate Officers now.

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33 R ank )


Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for awhile and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

"What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND Difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

Some Useful GK - Answer

HERE ARE THE ANSWERS


Answers

1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax .

2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports

4. Satellite Television Asian Region

5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India

6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen

7. That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.

8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla)

9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.

10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.

11. South Korea .

12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)

13. Geoffrey Boycott

14. John Traicos

15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln

16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa .

17. Polo.

Some Useful GK - Only Question

Even if u answer **five** questions its great...Feel proud...




1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?

2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?

3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?

4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?

5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"

6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?

7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?

8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?

9. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?

10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?

11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?

12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?

13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?

14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?

15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?

16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?

17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
 
Comment Your Answer.
 
for Answer click here.....

Cool Java Script

Don't miss, this is really interesting!!!

I never knew Microsoft had an inbuilt game designed in IE explorer to see...:-)

Just copy and paste the following in the address bar of internet explorer and press enter. It works even though you don't have Internet..!!!


javascript:function reverse() { var inp = "!!!yoB erecnis tad morf gnhtmus nrael dn u no emahs emos evaH !!!...ylerecnis gnikrow si iniz woh eeS !!!!krow ruoy oD ???eciffo ta semag gniyalp 4 u gniyap ton si ynapmoc ru,erutaerc sselemahs U"; var outp =""; for (i= 0; i <=inp.length;i++) { outp = inp.charAt (i) + outp ;}alert(outp);}; reverse();

Reactions and Response—By Unknown Author

While I was in a Restaurant, suddenly a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady standing a little away from me. She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.


The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the Behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.



Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering! Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic Behaviour? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. I realized even in my case then, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss that disturbs me,

But its my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, its my reaction to the problem that hurts me.



The Take-Away : The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. We should not react in life, we should always respond.



Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual.

Nov 9, 2010

Why con folder not created in Windows?

In MS-DOS, several special "device files" were available to aid in performing certain tasks, such as clearing the screen or deleting extraneous output from a program. In order to maintain backwards-compatibility, all versions of Windows up to and including Windows Vista will refuse to allow you to create a file with these "reserved" device file names. The following file names are reserved:
CON
PRN
AUX
NUL
COM1
COM2
COM3
COM4
COM5
COM6
COM7
COM8
COM9
LPT1
LPT2
LPT3
LPT4
LPT5
LPT6
LPT7
LPT8
LPT9

CON, incidentally, was a device file used to capture whatever was printed onscreen.

Now you know the answer :)

source: microsoft

Jun 8, 2010

con

Hi everyone

Can you create con folder in windows xp.

Try to create new folder and rename with con or aux or prn.....

reply with your step how you create folder name with con.
:)

May 27, 2010

How to make exefile from batfile or vice versa

# Open Dos
# Type "assoc .ext=fileTypei.e you want to conver .bat file to .exe
Eg: type c:\>assoc .bat=exefile
# Here you convert the bat file to exe file.

NOTE: I have written this command in c: so all the .bat file of c drive will be converted in exe file. This command is not useful for single file. You can write this command in notepad and save it as .bat here is your new virus.

Maa...

Maut ke aagosh mein jab so jati hai MAA, Tab jakar thoda sa sukon paati hai MAA,
Ruh k rishto ki ye gehrayi toh dekho, choot lagti hai hame or chillati hai MAA,
Maangti hai apne liye kuch nahi , Apne bacho k liye daaman phailati hai MAA,
Pyar kehte hai kise or mamta kya cheez hai,
koi un bacho se puche jinki guzar jati hai MAA,
Chahe hum khushiyon me MAA ko bhool jaye dosto, Jab musibat sar par aati hai toh yaad aati hai MAA....

MAA saath hai toh saya-e-qudrat bhi saath hai, MAA ke bagair aisa lage din bhi raat hai
Main dar jaun uska mere sar pe haath hai, mere liye toh meri maa hi kainat hai,
Daman mein MAA ke sirf wafaun ke phool hai, hum saare apne MAA ki pairon ki dhool hai,
Aulad ke sitam use hans ker qabool hai, bachon ko baksh dena hi MAA ka usool hai,
Din raat us ne paal pos ke bada kiya, girne lage toh MAA ne phir khada kiya.

SMOWTION