Selecting a software bridegroom...

This is from wikileaks……

A conversation about the process of selecting a software bridegroom....
Enjoy reading....



Priya: hey! what is the matter you have called up all of a sudden?

Jyoti : do u remember that my parents gave my horoscope, to search for a suitable match, to many people? So many horoscopes of the groom has come.. in that 4-5 seems to match.. I don't know which one to select, I am confused because of it.

Priya: what is the confusion about?

Jyoti: horoscopes of many software engineers have come. That's why I don't know whom I must select among this. You are a software engineer na pls give me some suggestion .

Priya: not a problem at all. So tell me the position that each one holds.

Jyoti: first is a manager .

Priya: manager?? Then he will showcast himself that he is busy always. But he will not do anything properly. He will get u 1 kg of rice and ask you to prepare for the whole area say a village. He will get you mutton and ask you to prepare chicken 65. Even if you protest telling you can't make it, he'll not accept. He will tell you to work hard day and night to prepare it. He will also tell he'll provide you with the night cab. Even if you ask how can I prepare chicken 65 out of it by sitting day and night he will not accept.

Jyoti: ohh..so dangerous he is!! Then I must escape. Next is a test engineer.

Priya: he is more dangerous than the other person. Whatever you do he will correctly tell only the fault in it. Even if you try to surprise him with 10 variety of food, he will tell the item which does not have salt in it. If you ask him "will you not at least tell that it is good", he will reply back saying it is your duty to make it good so why must I tell that. He is sooo good ...

Jyoti: then a NO to him also. Next is the performance test engineer.

Priya: he is another specimen. even if everything is good, he will ask why did it take this much time. If you take 10 minutes to make a coffee, he will question you asking why you have taken 10 min for a coffee which
can be done within 5 min. Even if you say that he is talking about the instant coffee while you have made the filter coffee, he will not accept. The same will be with all the work you do. You must not think about this person if you want to do make up in your life !!!

Jyoti: then! you mean to say that we should not marry software guys??

Priya: who said like that?? In software there is one more group. They are called the developers group. How much ever you hit them they will bear.

Jyoti: then tell about them.

Priya: you don't have to do anything. They will do everything themselves. If we sit back and just boost them it is enough. But the problem with them is- they will say "I know it" whatever you ask them. Even that is ok. They will bear how much ever you hit them but the condition is you must keep saying "you are too good" after hitting them every time.

Jyoti: this is superb. Then we must search for this kind of a groom...

Engineer rocks !

Office and heights of Mis-Communications

Do not make simple things complicated

Does Love Need a Reason?

Some people never understand



Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:
 Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?


Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..


Lady : You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?


Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.


Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!


Man : Ok.. ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,


because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.


The lady felt very satisfied with the man's answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side, here is the content:


Darling, Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.


Because of your care and concern that I like you.. Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love.


Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you..


Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...


If love needs a reason, like now, There is no reason for me to love you anymore.


Does love need a reason?


NO! Therefore,


I still LOVE YOU...


"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away"


Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'


'Fate Determines Who Comes Into Our Lives, But Heart Determines Who Stays...'

Is Work a Virus?

If you receive any sort of 'work' at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open it or even look at it have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter 'work' via email, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words 'I've had enough of your sh*t ... I'm off down the pub'. The 'work' should automatically be forgotten by your brain and your career will now be successfully destroyed.

If you receive 'work' in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag to your waste paper bin and deposit there. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer.

After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that 'work' will no longer be of any relavance to you and that 'Scooby Doo' was the greatest children's cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your mailbox. If you do not have anyone in your mailbox, then I'm afraid the 'work' virus has corrupted your life.

Go out and get some friends.

Wrong number

WRONG NUMBER

It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no."Ma", he screamed in excitement, "I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects." I can't believe it. "I kind of became numb in my excitement... My eyes became wet. I kissed him on his forehead and smiled." Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.

I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend" to tell him the news......

I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years. I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me When I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....

After that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names.

Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.

From then he used to call me very often. We almost discussed everything.

By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma

whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ........all these questions ran through my mind.

I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there.

I never called .......

A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend.......

My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and

never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had a boy...Yet, I was not very happy with my married life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him.

He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad that I could not marry him.

From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble... And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.

Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot"

I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him.... I felt I had been a badWr wife........

A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married.

I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did.

I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find,

"Wrong no Sweety - 26579785" !!!!!

God always puts the right numbers together. It's us who interpret it wrong!!!!!

આધુનિક્તાની વ્યાખ્યા સમ મોમ-ડેડ

આધુનિક્તાની વ્યાખ્યા સમ મોમ-ડેડ,


મોમ રમે મોબાઇલે sms, ડેડ computer એ કરે business.

દોસ્તો સાથે શોપિંગ તણાં ગપાટાં અને શેરમાર્કેટની ઉતર - ચડની ચિંતા,

ઘરમાં એક માસુમ કુમળું ફુલ પણ શ્વસતું ને પાંગરતું ,

મોમ - ડેડનાં આધુનિકતા સમ આંચળ હેઠે કચડાતું,

મોમ સખીઓનાં problems સુલઝાવવામાં busy,

ડેડ businesનાં વિસ્તરણમાં અટવાય,

માસુમ ફુલ 'maths'નાં એક સમિકરણે અટવાય,

મોમ-ડેડ.. can u please help me?

અમે અત્યારે થોડાં કામમાં છીએ ,

તને કેટલું સમજાવ્યું છે don't disturb us,

અત્યારે ટાઈમ નથી અમારી પાસે,

દિલે ખારો ઉષ સમંદર ભરીને-

ઘરની કાયમી સાથ આપતી દિવાલે અઢેલીને,

માસુમ દિલ પ્રભુને એક તીખી વેધક નજરે વીંધે..

કાશ્ મોમ-ડેડ બનવાની પણ એક school...

LET'S TRAVEL TO PARIS

LET'S TRAVEL TO PARIS

DINESH VORA

CLICK OR COPY AND PASTE

http://www.paris-26-gigapixels.com/index-en.html

YOU WILL VIEW PARIS IN A VERY SHARP

26 GIGA PIXEL PICTURE FIRST OF ITS KIND

PLAY WITH YOUR MOUSE CURSER AND

ENJOY PARIS ALL AROUND NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH UP DOWN CLOSE LOOK

ANYWAY YOU LIKE

IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO.....

An old man lived alone in Minnesota . He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

With Love,

Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m .. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad...

It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT.

Life of a S/W Engineer

Life of a S/W Engineer JJ

It's true they say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

I don't think there is a better way of explaining our life. Imagine yourself sitting in the black chair.

 

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